I volunteer with a bereavement support group. One topic that garners alot of discussion each year is handling the holidays.
Those who are facing the first holiday season after a loss face many emotions. Some want to continue their celebrations as they have alway been, but worry that they can't replicate celebrations of the past. Others want to make things as different as possible, but may feel guilt at leaving traditions behind.
As with all facets of grieving, there is no one answer that works for everyone. Perhaps this first year, you may keep a few trraditions going and let others lie dormant for a year or two. Maybe you never start them back up or maybe you replace them with something new.
When my mother's Alzheimers progressed to the point at which she could no longer bake Christmas cookies, I began making a couple of her recipes. It has been more than 12 years since that happened. I am still a reluctant baker. I put off doing the baking as long as possible, but, in the end, I am always glad that I do it.
Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone remembering a lost loved one this holiday season.
This is lovely, Michelle, and also deeply touching. It's so hard to know what to do during the holidays when the memory of loss is near; for my part this season brings a ton of heavy memories, and it will be my first time dealing with it all "on my own"--but it's so nice to know that even living alone, we're never completely "on our own." Loss can be a bond, and memory can be a balm.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Khara. Your comment is lovely, too. I remember seeing that your mother's birthday was Dec. 26. My sister's birthday was Dec. 27. Christmas and birthday so close together-that is a tough 1-2 combination.
DeleteVery touching Michelle. My older children are facing their first Christmas without their father this year and they just have to rally and do their best. Life changes are never easy. It's a lovely thing you do to give your time; I'm proud to have you as a friend. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Veronica. I will keep you and your children in my thoughts throughout the holidays. I was very fortunate to find a wonderful grief support group at a time when I needed it. I truly believe I would never have started writing poetry without doing that grief work. I am very grateful for your friendship.
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